Bittersweet Symphony
by O'Im Only Joking
Summary: Don't read if you haven't already tonight's episode, contains a spoiler. But this is just a little something that I can see happening in tomorrow's episode  Friday's e4.  Hope you enjoy otherwise!


**A/N: SPOILER! I wouldn't read any further if you haven't seen last night's e4 episode (21/04/11). I'd hate to ruin it for anyone. **

**IF you HAVE seen the episode, then this is my version of what I see happening in the aftermath/tomorrow's episode. **

**Ste's POV. **

I suddenly feel numb, I feel as though my legs have disappeared and I'm floating in mid-air. I look around _Chez Chez _to find people looking at us. Some shocked faces, some confused faces… and one angry face.

Noah stands at the top of the stairs shaking his head at us. I try my best to walk over to him, but I can't move. He turns and heads down the stairs.

'Noah!' I call weakly, but the club doors slam shut beneath us.

I'm confused and I don't know if I'm actually here, if what Brendan just did was real. I mean, he kissed me… in public? Why? How? In front of his sister, Warren and Mitzeee, they all look on, their faces showing what I'm feeling.

Brendan makes his way to the stairs and I watch as he rushes down the stairs, out of the club. I look down at my feet and force them to follow him. Thankfully they move themselves in the direction Brendan took.

Once I hit the night cold air I look around to see if I can find him. I feel proper bad for not going to see Noah, but this means things are different now, right? This means me and Bren can give it a proper go.

I zip up my work jacket and fold my arms over my chest as I walk towards to stairs that lead to Brendan's flat. I see him; sat on the last step at the top. His hands clapped together in front of his face, his eyes shining from the light of the moon as he look up to the night sky.

I bet he regrets it. He will regret this; this is probably just another one of his games. Oh, here I go again. Confused as fuck, not knowing if this time it's different or not. But then again, it's got to be. He would have done that if he hadn't of wanted people to know about him. About us. Cause there is an us, there always will be. I fobbed him off earlier with shit about me and him being over, but he knew, he knew that me and him weren't over. And to be honest, now that I felt his lips on mine again, I don't want it to be.

I bring my hands down in front of me and lift my legs up to go up the stairs. It's cold, and the only noise surrounding us is music from the club. He hardly notices me until I sit next to him.

'Can we talk?' I ask softly.

He groans, scratches his forehead with his thumb and looks at me.

'We can, but I don't want to.' It comes across as cold… like he's not even there. I mean, he is, but his mind is somewhere completely different.

'I'm just really confused that's all.' I say truthfully.

'Yer.'

He gets up to leave.

'Coming in?' He asks walking to his flat.

I leap to my feet and follow him into the warmer surroundings. He walks straight to the cupboard and gets a glass out and a bottle of whiskey. He drinks the first one quickly before pouring another. And another… and another.

'You gonna slow down?' I say, trying to joke.

He turns around and deliberately finishes his drink quicker than necessary. I sigh and walk other to the kitchen area. I watch him and wait for him to speak. Hoping this time we can open up to me without me having to push him.

'Shouldn't you be off with that lover boy of yours?'

'Yeah, but I want to sort this out first. He's probably finished with me now anyway.' I say thinking about what he witnessed.

'Stephen,' he slurs 'I don't want yer here. This was a mistake asking you in here… just leave.'

I clear my throat and walk so I can stand in front of him. His head hangs low has he swirls his drink around slowly in the glass.

'No,' I make me voice strong, cause everything else is weak. 'I want to talk about what just happened, you've proper confused me.'

'Foxy.' He says, as though that is enough to make me understand.

'What about him?' I shake my head.

He swigs back the last bit of his drink and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. He goes to reach for the bottle, but I reach across and bring it away. I hold his hand in mine and put the glass in the sink.

'Jus' talk to me, please.' I sound like I'm begging, and I sort of am.

He looks at me, then down at our hands. I feel him stand taller against the sink and his hand loosens in mine.

'The bastard threatened to 'beat my closeted doors in'.'

'Right, so you decided to it yourself by snogging me?' I ask, trying to get it.

He laughs.

'Looks like it, don't it?'

'But I thought he didn't care about you been gay?'

'It's my weakness, Stephen' he looks away 'him knowing about me been, you know… it's not wise.'

I scrunch my face up, still not getting it.

'But why did you say that he could whatever to me now? And that you'd finished with me?'

'Cause he thought he'd mess with me… by threatening to hurt you. That's half the reason I did it, so now he has nothing on me. But leave it, this doesn't mean we can now be happy… we can never be happy.' He breathes and lets his hand fall out of mine.

My mouth drops open has it hits me. I put my hands around his neck and pull him in to me.

'But it's different now. Please, we could make it work.' I close my eyes as he lets our foreheads touch.

'Ya think?' He smirks, half deflated.

'Yeah, look, I'm sorry about hurting you. I just wanted to get you back…

'I'm not arsed about that, Stephen.' He cuts in.

'I wanna be with you though. Properly together. We can do that now that people know.'

He suddenly flings my hands away from him.

'This isn't some fucking fairy tale, Stephen. I'm bad news for yer, I always will be. I've told yer this, told Amy this. I did it to prove a point, I did it show people that I don't give a fuck anymore.'

I dunno what to say. He knows I'm not innocent, I've been a proper idiot, me. I hurt him, thinking it would solve things. It didn't. Now he's done this thing, outing himself in a God like fashion in front of everyone, and I thought it meant me and him could give it a go. It doesn't. I want to cry, I actually want to rag him around this flat and scream in his face.

'What if I give you some space? I try.

'Yer need to stay away from me.'

'No,' I shake my head 'we've tried that before and it didn't work. Doesn't that tell you something?'

'It tells me that I am amazing, but we already knew that.' He smiles sarcastically.

I hide my smile.

'I'm been serious, Bren. We can talk in the morning… I want to be with you.' I emphasise the you.

'We will always have people breathing down our necks, Stephen. Yer know I… like yer, but that isn't enough. It will never be enough. You have better, you deserve better. Just go home to Noel, or Noah, whatever he's called and work it out. I'm not what you really need.'

He can't be serious? I hold on to his neck again and force him to open his eyes.

'I _love_ you, man. Love you more than is good for me, I know. And I know what you feel for me is more than you let on. You've done so much to protect me. Let me do the same.'

He tries to focus his eyes on me, his breathing picking up has he brings his fingers up to my fringe. He tucks my hair behind my ear like he used to and smiles. My heart speeds up as it kicks in that he's listening to me.

'Protection, Stephen. You need protecting from me. Yer do, I'll always have feelings for yer, but they don't feel strong enough for us to be together like some loving nancies, cause that's not what I want. Not yet anyway, I'm not ready yet, you go out there and see what is there.' He sighs pushing past me.

'This is all drunken talk.' I say following him towards his stairs. 'You don't mean it, I know you don't. Tonight said it all.'

'Goodnight, Stephen. Make your own way out.'

Then that's it, left alone, with nothing but tears for company.

**A/N: Now don't hate me! Haha, hope it wasn't too gibberish and made some sort of sense. Me thinks that the Stendan dynamic is going to be gold dust these next few weeks/months. **


End file.
